


home for christmas

by elliewritesthings



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Party, DILF Eren, Domestic Fluff, Endearments, Frottage, Kissing, M/M, Pining Levi, Praise Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliewritesthings/pseuds/elliewritesthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s so not over it, Levi surmises, slumping down on the table as he keeps stealing glances in Eren’s direction. Damn it, the man has only gotten more handsome while he’s been gone, that bright, beaming smile and those lively eyes making Levi’s heart beat faster even though he’s all the way on the other side of the room. There are a couple of new gray hairs at his temples, and Levi figures it tells quite a lot about him that he’s able to spot something that minor from across the room. Coming back had been a terrible mistake because he can feel himself falling all over again and it’s even worse the second time around - he’s an adult now, for fuck’s sake, and it’s downright ridiculous that he’s still not over his little crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	home for christmas

It takes him a few days to process the realization that they’re finally free.  
  
He and Izzy are sitting together at their favourite coffee shop but this time, there are no textbooks to read or assignments to work on. There are only two mugs of hot chocolate and the muffin they’re splitting on the table as they sit in a comfortable silence, and that’s when it at last dawns on Levi. He makes an astonished sound at the back of his throat and Izzy raises a brow at him.  
  
“We’re done,” he states tentatively, as if letting those words escape him could somehow cancel them out. “We’re done with college.”  
  
“Done and done,” Izzy replies, a grin tugging at her features. “Can you believe it?”  
  
“I’m not sure yet,” he says, and he really isn’t. It takes some time getting used to the fact that they’re college graduates now. Well, technically both he and Izzy won’t be receiving their diplomas until January, but the point still stands. “Feels strange.”  
  
Izzy gives a solemn nod, cradling the mug of hot chocolate in her hands. “It does. But you know what we do now?”  
  
“Grapple with existential terror and eventually grow desensitized to it all?” Levi suggests, but Izzy doesn’t seem too enthused about his idea.  
  
“No, we celebrate!” she exclaims with a beaming smile. “Come on, we’ve earned it.”  
  
He has to agree with that statement - the last few years have been quite the ride, yet somehow they’ve ended up here, overcoming all obstacles. “Alright,” he says with a lopsided smile. Damn it, Izzy’s enthusiasm is as contagious as always. “What do you have in mind?”  
  
“Well, my dad and I are throwing a sort of a combined Christmas and graduation party this weekend,” she starts off, only getting a couple words into her sentence when Levi’s heart skips a beat. “Just a little occasion, just closest friends and some family. You should come along!”  
  
“I don’t know about that,” he says, fighting to keep his voice leveled. “It would be kind of awkward.”  
  
“Oh, please. You haven’t been home in such a long time!” she huffs, a slight pout settling on her features. “Maybe while you’re there you could even visit Kenny?”  
  
Levi gives a long sigh. “Izzy, no.”  
  
“Okay, okay, maybe that’s stretching it,” she admits with an apologetic look. “But still, you should come to our party. Doesn’t matter if we’re related by blood or not, you’re family to me.”  
  
There’s an odd warmth roaring up at his chest that he doubts has only a little to do with the hot chocolate he’s been sipping. “I appreciate it, I really do,” he says with a smile. “But I wouldn’t want to intrude on you guys.”  
  
“That’s nonsense and you know it,” Izzy retorts, pointing an accusing finger at him. “I invited you, hence you’re not intruding. And besides, my dad and all our aunts and uncles would be so happy to see you after such a long time.”  
  
Levi swallows heavily. “Right. Sure.”  
  
That’s the problem, though. Izzy’s family is really nice, and back when he’d been a teenager they’d taken better care of him than Kenny ever could have, so of course Levi wouldn’t mind seeing them again. In fact, it’s the exact opposite, he wants to catch up with them, so that might be why he eventually gives in, promising to join them next weekend. Izzy’s positively beaming at him after that, and for a moment he thinks that maybe it won’t be that bad after all.  
  
That feeling only grows stronger throughout the rest of the week as he’s going about his day-to-day life, going to a couple of job interviews and tutoring the freshmen at the student association. He’s no longer a hormonal teenager, he’s a grown ass man who does grown ass things and who certainly no longer obsesses over his best friend’s dad. That’s a thing of the past, he tells himself, and with each passing day it’s getting easier and easier to believe that.  
  
It’s snowing heavily on Friday afternoon when they hit the road, and at times Levi’s genuinely concerned they’ll swerve into a ditch with the way Izzy’s driving. He insists on taking frequent breaks, and the closer they get to their old home town the longer those breaks get. As he’s leaning against the sink in yet another gas station toilet and staring at his reflection in the mirror, Levi has to admit to himself that maybe he’s not gotten over Eren as fully as he’d like to think.  
  
When they get back in the car he insists on driving, much to Izzy’s chagrin, and with his hands clenching tightly on the steering while, he asks, “So how’s everyone doing back home?”  
  
“Same old, same old.” Izzy stretches her hands out above her head, letting out a small yawn. “Dad’s still working himself to death, and aunt Mikasa just bought herself a new vacation home in Hawaii. Oh, and apparently they’re building a new shopping mall across the town square.”  
  
“Really, now,” Levi states, allowing the rest of the words that follow to flow in through one ear and out the other. It sounds like not much has changed, and while it’s comforting to hear that at least some things in life stay the same, he can’t help but question whether or not he himself has changed, too.  
  
Izzy’s chattering and the Christmas carols playing on the radio provide a rather pleasant ambience that lulls Levi into a curious state of calm. Snow is still falling, though not as heavy as before, and as they drive through landscapes of vast white fields and tall spruces, Levi finds some of the tension in his shoulders easing. He’s got this. Yeah, maybe he’s a little too preoccupied with wondering if Eren’s been growing his hair out like he mentioned the last time he’d seen him and whether or not he’s still sticking to his rigorous gym routine, but this time around Levi’s a responsible adult who can handle these things.  
  
The scenery passing by slowly starts to look more familiar, and after passing by their old high school, Levi can truly say that he’s home.  
  
It’s not a long drive to Izzy’s place from there, and soon enough Levi’s pulling into the familiar driveway. All the lights in the house are out even though it’s well into the evening, and as they’re gathering up their bags from the trunk, Izzy explains that it’s not uncommon for her dad to be working late into the night nowadays.  
  
“I told him to be home early this one time, but of course he doesn’t listen to me,” she gripes, trudging up the steps to the front door with her keys in hand. “He was really looking forward to seeing you, too, but I guess that’ll have to wait.”  
  
There it is again, that familiar ache in his chest that feels like it’s eating away at him from the inside. Had Eren really said something like that? Of course, he’d only mean it in the most platonic way, but still.  
  
He trails inside the house behind Izzy, the familiar watercolor paintings in the lobby greeting him as he enters. The place looks exactly like he’d remembered, with maybe a couple of new pieces of furniture here and there along with some vibrant potted plants sitting along the windowsill. Izzy explains that they’re herbs her dad apparently uses when cooking as she points out thyme and cilantro and some others that Levi forgets almost instantly - he’s too caught up imagining Eren buzzing around the kitchen, maybe wearing a goofy apron since he’s definitely the kind of guy who’d own several of those, conjuring up hearty soups and rich, filling casseroles that taste like home with every single bite.  
  
“I didn’t know your dad liked cooking,” he says, hoping that the look on his face doesn’t reflect the inner turmoil he’s currently experiencing. Apparently not, since Izzy’s heading towards the stairs already.  
  
“It’s a recent development.” She whips around, giving Levi a stern glare. “You would probably know if you kept in touch more frequently.”  
  
He hangs his head, climbing up the stairs at her heels. “Good point,” he admits with a sigh. It’s not that easy, he wants to insists, but then he’d have to tell Izzy why, and he’s not sure if she’s ready to hear that Levi’s been pining after her dad for almost ten years now. Then again, on some level he thinks that she knows already - she’s Izzy, for fuck’s sake, nothing escapes her sharp eyes.  
  
Izzy’s old room and the guest room where Levi’s grown accustomed to sleeping in are right next to each other, and just so happen to have a shared bathroom, so they keep chatting while unpacking their things. Izzy’s invited her old high school flame over for the party tomorrow evening and she’s lamenting that decision as she rifles through her impressive selection of dresses. How she managed to fit all of them in one suitcase, Levi has no idea.  
  
“Is this too revealing?” she asks, holding up a red dress that has a rather ample neckline.  
  
“Uh,” Levi states. “It’s red. That’s festive. You should wear that one.”  
  
Izzy narrows her eyes at him, not looking too convinced. “Hm. Maybe I should go with the black one instead.” She returns to digging through the pile, mumbling something about having amazing matching black pumps.  
  
The rest of the evening passes by peacefully. After they’ve settled in Izzy makes them some popcorn and they marathon cheesy Christmas movies while sitting on the living room floor and lobbing unpopped kernels at each other every now and then as they find them. It’s just like back when they were kids, and though they’d vowed to stay up all night, Levi’s already yawning by eleven o’clock.  
  
“You’re getting old,” Izzy taunts, elbowing him lightly.  
  
“I am,” he agrees as he stifles another yawn. It’s getting late but there’s still no sign of Eren, and this fact has him vaguely worried, even though Izzy assures him that it’s common for her dad to work late. Levi tries not to think too hard on why he’s so unusually disappointed and instead goes off to get ready for bed.  
  
It’s been a long day and his head feels fuzzy whenever his thoughts wander to Eren, so he tries to focus all of his attention on brushing his teeth very thoroughly and making sure to get out even the tiniest bits of popcorn out from between the gaps. His gums are bleeding slightly when he’s finished but at least his mouth tastes minty fresh and he’s a little more composed than before.  
  
Just a little, though, since even as he’s settling into bed he keeps listening for any noises from downstairs, for the sound Eren’s car pulling in at the driveway or the front door unlocking, followed by slow, shuffling steps that climb up the stairs. All he hears is silence, though, and even as he’s starting to drift off to sleep, he keeps listening for that familiar jingling of keys that never comes.

 

\---

 

Morning dawns as white and chilly as ever, and Levi has to put in a significant amount of effort just to drag himself out of the pleasant warmth of his bed. It’s so cozy under the covers, but eventually he manages to get up, changing into a pair of jeans and a sweater. Unlike Izzy, he hadn’t bothered packing any fancier clothes with him, though now he wishes he kind of had as he surveys himself in the mirror. Damn it, he still looks like a college kid, no matter which way he turns.  
  
Downstairs he finds Izzy seated by the kitchen table, munching her way through a couple of pancakes. “Morning,” she greets through a mouthful of strawberries and syrup, gesturing Levi to help himself to the numerous pancakes stacked up by the stove.  
  
“You made breakfast?” he asks with an incredulous tone.  
  
“Nah, dad did before he left,” she explains after swallowing. “He said he still has to pick up some stuff for tonight, but he told me to say hi to you. So, hi.”  
  
“Hello,” Levi replies as he goes to grab himself some pancakes. It just might be his own fault for sleeping in, but he feels a little hurt that Eren’s still not there. The pancakes are still warm and they look so delicious and fluffy, so he piles quite a few of them on his plate before sitting down with Izzy.

It feels oddly domestic, eating breakfast at Izzy’s kitchen and listening to the wind howling outside, and for a fleeting moment Levi finds himself thinking that he could get used to this.

He very nearly moans out loud after taking the first bite from his pancakes. The texture is deliciously light and fluffy, not to mention the faint taste of vanilla and cinnamon dancing across his tongue. “These are really good,” he has to admit as he digs in.

“I know. Beats my usual diet of cereal and ramen noodles,” Izzy chuckles, scooping up the last of the strawberries into her mouth. “Anyway, after you’re done we should get started decorating the place. There’s a couple of boxes in the attic full of Christmas stuff.”

Levi’s gaze drifts from the empty fireplace mantel to the suspiciously non-festive kitchen, finally landing on to the spot where the Jaegers had usually put up their Christmas tree. “Yeah, I was kind of wondering where all the holiday cheer was,” he quips.

“You know how my dad is, always leaving everything to the last minute,” Izzy comments with a sigh as she goes to set her plate in the dishwasher. “Luckily this year we’re doing sort of a potluck thing, so there’s not that much to do aside from decorating and setting everything up.”

He scarfs down the pancakes in record time thanks to Izzy’s urging, yet the pleasant sweetness lingers in his mouth for long after as they set out to decorate the house. The boxes found from the attic contain dozens of garlands and lights that are tangled up in one another, so just straightening them out takes a while. He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor sorting the mess out while Izzy flits between the kitchen and the living room, contemplating where she should hang the large golden paper star that had been sitting on top of the pile.

Eventually she decides on the living room window, climbing up to stand on the couch in order to reach. As she’s toeing on the armrest, she gives Levi a curious glance over her shoulder.“I’m going to spend the night over at Petra’s place. You remember her, don’t you?” she asks with such an innocent voice that Levi instantly grows suspicious.

“Yeah, I remember her,” he replies with a slow nod. “That’s nice.”

“So we’re gonna head over to her place at around ten or eleven pm, and I’ll be back the next day around noon,” she rattles on, all the while looking at Levi expectantly.

“Okay,” he states, not sure what more to say. “Sounds fun.”

“That means I’m not going to be here for the night,” she goes on, speaking more slowly this time.

“Yeah, I got that already.” There’s a hint of amusement creeping into his voice as he watches her expression turn to one of frustration.

“For fuck’s sake, I don’t know how to make this any clearer without it getting weird,” she says with a sigh, plopping down next to him after she’s hung up the star. “All I’m gonna say is that I’m not going to be here, so whatever happens will not reach my ears, thank goodness for that.”

“Okay,” he says, now more focused on untangling a particularly long string of lights, so even though Izzy’s point doesn’t quite reach him, she seems to be done with the subject for now. Grabbing a couple of the garlands Levi’s managed to untangle, she saunters off into the kitchen, humming Christmas carols under her breath.

With the two of them working together, they get the house decorated right on time - he’s still wondering if the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling lamp is a little too much when the doorbell rings. 

“It’s Connie and Sasha,” Izzy informs him, peering out the window, but as he goes to let them in, he’s instead greeted by a bushy spruce tree.

“Merry Christmas!” the tree bellows in a voice startlingly similar to Sasha’s, and soon her smiling face peeks out from behind the branches.

“You really weren’t kidding about bringing a tree,” Izzy says, eyes widening as she watches the two of them carry the tree inside.

“Of course we weren’t.” Connie shoots a proud grin at her. “And we picked the most handsome one we could find. Uh, don’t tell our neighbors, though.”

“You didn’t,” Levi intones in a disbelieving voice.

“It was just standing there among the others, they won’t miss it,” Sasha assures, throwing a leisurely arm around his shoulders. “Now, is it just me or have you actually grown a couple of inches since the last time I saw you?”

It’s probably just her, but Levi appreciates the sentiment anyway. More old friends and relatives pour in during the afternoon, bringing with them homemade stews and casseroles and pastries of all shapes and sizes, and every single one of them takes their time talking to Levi. He loses count on how many people rush to hug him, not to mention the great-aunts that flock to pinch his cheeks and gripe about how he should eat more, never mind the fact that he’s got a little bit of every dish piled on his plate. Still, it’s a nice feeling to have someone caring for you, and he’s seriously starting to question why he fell out of touch with Izzy’s family in the first place.

All that catching up takes its toll on him, so he goes to sit by the kitchen table next to all the food where it’s a little more peaceful. The punch is a little stiff for his tastes, but he decides to grab a glass, anyway. His hand stops in midair when Levi spots _him_ across the crowd, lingering by the fireplace and talking to Izzy, and in an instant he remembers exactly why he’d been gone for so long.

Even from a distance, he can tell that Eren’s definitely been working out, along with letting his hair get a little longer. He’s wearing the tackiest reindeer sweater ever, but Levi’s attention is more drawn to the rolled up sleeves of that sweater and the defined, tan forearms they’re revealing than anything else. God, he wants to lick those arms. Is that weird? It probably is. He pours himself a second glass of punch, his mouth suddenly gone dry and his cheeks burning as he watches Eren laughing at something Izzy’s said.

He’s so not over it, Levi surmises, slumping down on the table as he keeps stealing glances in Eren’s direction. Damn it, the man has only gotten more handsome while he’s been gone, that bright, beaming smile and those lively eyes making Levi’s heart beat faster even though he’s all the way on the other side of the room. There are a couple of new gray hairs at his temples, and Levi figures it tells quite a lot about him that he’s able to spot something that minor from across the room. Coming back had been a terrible mistake because he can feel himself falling all over again and it’s even worse the second time around - he’s an adult now, for fuck’s sake, and it’s downright ridiculous that he’s still not over his little crush.

As if he’d been reading Levi’s mind, Eren turns around just then, his eyes scanning across the crowd until they finally land on him, and Levi swears he stops breathing for a moment. One of those oh-so-irresistible cheery smiles rises to Eren’s face as he waves at Levi, gesturing him to stay put. It’s not like Levi has the willpower to escape, so he simply watches Eren make his way across the room, dodging a few overly talkative uncles along the way, and in a matter of moments, he’s standing in front of Levi.

“Hey you,” Eren says with a grin that’s so damn blinding that Levi’s left speechless for a moment. “Merry Christmas!”

“Yeah, uh, same to you,” he stutters, a smile rising to his features as if on its own. “How’s it going? It’s been a while.”

If Eren picks up on the guilty edge on his voice, he at least has the decency not to mention it. “It’s been far too long,” he agrees, clapping Levi on the shoulder, and while it’s just a casual touch, Levi’s heart still pounds faster at feeling Eren’s warm hand upon him. “I mean, look at you, all grown up and graduated from college. Congratulations!”

He’s probably just imagining the slightly teasing tone those words are spoken in, but he still can’t stop the faint blush from rising to his cheeks. “Well, I don’t know about that,” he says with an awkward laugh. Those intense emerald eyes are staring right at him with all that usual completely platonic kindness and caring Eren’s always shown him throughout the years, and even though Levi knows that’s all he’ll ever get, that doesn’t stop the burning ache for more roaring inside of him.

“Don’t be so modest, seriously. Not everyone gets as far as you and Izzy.” Eren reaches up to ruffle at his hair, and though it’s a totally innocent touch, Levi still feels something warm coiling at the pit of his stomach. “Well done, I’m really proud of you.”

Oh. Oh my. Now it’s official, he really is fucked beyond belief, because those words send a whole wave of nervous heat fluttering through him.  
  
“It’s not that big of a deal, really,” he insists with a restless laugh, a rather significant part of him hoping that Eren would jump in to disagree and compliment him some more. Apparently that’s a thing now, him being so terrifyingly weak to hearing praises from Eren.  
  
“Are you kidding me? That’s an amazing achievement,” Eren huffs with a fond smile and is about to go on, but just then one of their great-aunts happens to park herself by all the food, letting out a delighted squeal as she spots Levi.  
  
“Darling, is that really you?” she croons, batting her lashes dramatically, and Levi barely gets a single word in before she’s launching into a lengthy tirade about how long it’s been and what she and her numerous cats have been up to. He nods along, of course, and Eren gives him a sympathetic look before excusing himself. It takes all of Levi’s restraint to not call out after him, and as he watches him return to the party, he can’t help but to feel a little melancholic.  
  
It feels like hours have passed when Levi finally manages to slink away from Izzy’s great-aunt’s grasp. He’s now all the wiser on the pros and cons of pine cat litter, though he’s not entirely sure if he’ll use any of that information in the future. With a yet another glass of punch in hand, he lingers by the freshly decorated Christmas tree, eyes scanning over the fairly large crowd of people milling around the living room. A couple of their older relatives have already left since evening is starting to fall, but for the most part it seems like the party is only getting started - he swears he’d seen one of Izzy’s uncles pour a little something extra into the punch, and as he sips it he can definitely taste the difference.  
  
As if on their own, his stare is drawn to Eren who’s currently sitting on the sofa playing with one of his young nieces. She giggles in delight as Eren sets the pink plastic crown on top of her head, and damn it, Levi knows that being jealous of a five-year old is ridiculous but he wouldn’t mind getting Eren’s undivided attention for just a moment or two. He’s really popular among both the kids and adults, so of course there are people always buzzing around him, and that really shouldn’t bother Levi as much as it does. Still, it feels like he’s the only person who hasn’t gotten to talk to Eren properly tonight, and as he sulks in his corner by the Christmas tree, he can slowly yet surely feel his holiday cheer dissipating.  
  
Clearly the only solution is more punch, so for the rest of the evening he spends most of his time lingering by the kitchen table, occasionally making small talk with people but focusing the majority of his attention on the food and the drink. The gingerbread cookies are probably his favorite among all the dishes, so he munches down quite a few of those. And yes, Levi’s very aware of how pathetic it is of him to mope around and shove everything he can find into his mouth, but frankly, he doesn’t really care.  
  
Their friends and relatives start trickling out at around nine, and soon enough Levi notices how quiet it’s gotten around him and finally abandons the food in favor of wandering into the living room. There are a couple of empty glasses sitting on the coffee table along with someone’s forgotten sweater draped over the back of the armchair, but other than that the room is completely empty. It’s almost eerie seeing a space that had been so full of life empty out, and as Levi sits down on the couch, he feels a numbing tiredness settling over him. He’s not sure whether it’s because of the punch or the fact that he’s talked to far too many people in one night or maybe because of something else entirely - all three maybe? His eyes drift closed, head falling against the back of the sofa. He’ll take just a tiny little nap, just a short one, because right now he’s so tired that he can’t even drag himself up the stairs and into bed.  
  
Levi’s not sure how long he’s been dozing off, but it couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes when he’s woken up by someone lightly shaking him.  
  
“Are you okay?” a voice calls out, and with some effort Levi manages to focus his eyes on the face hovering above him and recognises it as Eren’s.  
  
“I’m not sure,” he mumbles in response, still not awake and alert enough to form more complex sentences.  
  
“Come on, sit up. I’m gonna get you a glass of water.” With that, Eren disappears from his line of sight, and if Levi weren’t so out of it he’d definitely call out to him.  
  
His neck feels sore and tense as he stretches himself out, leading him to believe that he may have been napping for more than just a couple of minutes. As he moves to sit there on the edge of the couch, he’s gradually growing more aware of his surroundings and the fact that everyone else seems to have gone home. It’s just him and Eren.  
  
That’s when Izzy’s earlier statement finally sinks in. She’s gone. It’s just Levi and Eren, all alone in the house.  
  
Panic floods through his veins as he tries to make sense of things, staring intently in the direction of the kitchen where he can hear the sound of running water. Does it mean that Izzy knows? Does she expect something to, uh, happen? Will something happen?  
  
Realistically speaking, it probably won’t, but that doesn’t stop his imagination from running wild with visions of him and Eren doing all sorts of fun things together.  
  
He’s crossed his legs tightly and recited over half of the US constitution in his head by the time Eren comes back, handing him a glass of water. “Feeling any better?” he asks.  
  
I am now that you’re here, Levi thinks, his heart skipping a beat when he sees the genuine concern in Eren’s eyes. “Yeah, a little,” he says as he takes a sip. The more  water he drinks the clearer his head is starting to feel, aside from the dizzying effect Eren’s presence is having on him, of course.  
  
Eren sits down next to him with a long exhale, draping an arm around the back of the couch, so damn close that Levi could easily lean against him and breathe in the intoxicating scent of his cologne. “Busy night, huh,” he comments.  
  
“Yeah,” Levi agrees. He should go on, he should say something else because he’s been yearning to talk more with Eren the whole night, yet now when the opportunity is finally here he cannot find the right words.  
  
“Everyone was really glad you made it,” Eren says, leaning further into the couch. He sounds too damn happy, and as Levi glances at him from the corner of his eye, there’s a pleased little smile lingering on his features that looks good enough to eat. “You better not be such a stranger in the future, okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” he states again absently. Today has proved to him that he’s definitely not over Eren, so all in all, the wisest choice would be to keep his distance, but when the man is looking at him so earnestly it’s nearly impossible to say no.  
  
Eren hesitates for a while before speaking up again, choosing each word carefully. “In all seriousness, is everything okay?” he asks, turning to face Levi and focus those gorgeous green eyes solely on him. “You seemed kind of distant earlier.”  
  
“It’s fine. I’m just tired,” he assures Eren. Truthfully, he’s so damn tempted to spill the beans right there and then and ruin their relationship forever, but he holds himself back, swallowing around the heavy lump lodged in his throat.  
  
His answer doesn’t seem to convince Eren, who’s actually inched a little bit closer now and consequently made thinking straight all the more difficult for Levi. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m here to listen,” he states, sounding so damn fatherly and concerned that Levi cannot help but to let out a dry laugh. “There’s nothing you cannot talk to me about.”  
  
“I don’t know about that,” Levi replies with a shake of his head because he’s pretty sure that if Eren knew about his little infatuation he’d be driven out instantly. “But thanks, anyway.”  
  
“No, I’m serious,” Eren insists, giving him a firm look. After that his words become a blur to Levi because he’s too entranced watching the way his lips move as he speaks. They look far too inviting, and before Levi even realizes what he’s doing, he’s closed the distance between them and pressed their mouths together in an awkward kiss.  
  
It only lasts for a few seconds, but it feels like hours to Levi. It’s only a chaste little kiss but it’s much better than he could have ever imagined, Eren’s lips soft and inviting against his. He can feel Eren tense up at the contact, but he doesn’t pull away, instead remaining there as Levi’s hand comes to grab at the collar of his sweater. That seems to jolt him out of his daze, though, and to Levi’s disappointment he draws back, that same look of concern still etched on his features.  
  
Eren’s the first to break the heavy silence between them. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he states, sounding all too calm after just having his daughter’s best friend come on to him.  
  
“What the fuck kind of a reaction is that?” Levi hisses after he’s gotten over the initial shock. “You’re not supposed to say that.”  
  
“What am I supposed to say, then?” Eren questions, a genuinely curious tone creeping into his voice.  
  
“I don’t know. Maybe call me names and throw me out or something,” he suggests with a shrug and watches Eren’s lips turn downwards into a frown.  
  
“You know you’ll always be welcome here no matter what happens,” he says, and that’s what finally does it for Levi.  
  
“For fuck’s sake, I just kissed you, you should be yelling at me or the very least telling me to go away,” he snaps, his voice wavering a little at the last couple of words. “Stop being so nice about it.”  
  
Now Eren’s starting to look a little embarrassed, glancing off to the side. “I’m not angry at you if that’s what you’re worried about. You’re drunk and don’t know what you’re doing. But there definitely is something on your mind.”  
  
“You see, that’s the fucking issue,” Levi exclaims, pointing a finger at him. “I am not drunk. A bit tipsy, maybe, but for the last ten years or so that I’ve been crushing on you I’ve been mostly sober.”  
  
That makes Eren glance back at him, his eyes so intense that Levi wishes he could just swallow those words back up. “Excuse me?”  
  
“So yeah, that’s what’s on my mind. And this is the part where you throw me out, so I’m just gonna excuse myself to save you the trouble.” With that, he rises off the couch, or at least tries to because suddenly Eren reaches out to grab him by the arm to hold him back.  
  
“Sit back down, Levi,” he orders, such a determined edge in his voice that Levi can’t do anything else than comply. After he’s plopped back down on the sofa, Eren speaks up again. “Is that why you haven’t been home in such a long while?”  
  
“Maybe,” he mutters, examining his fingernails to hide from Eren’s observant stare.  
  
“Oh. Oh no.” After that they’re both quiet for a long while, Levi occasionally stealing glances at Eren when he’s sure that the man is no longer looking at him so intensely anymore. He appears deep in thought but thankfully not as offended or upset as Levi would have expected.  
  
Shifting around a little, Eren finally asks, “So, what do you want to do now?”  
  
The question makes Levi raise his brows slightly. “Uh, what do you even mean by that?”  
  
“Do you never want to see me again, or…?” Eren trails off halfway through his sentence, gesturing vaguely at the space between them, a slight flush playing across his features.  
  
Levi’s growing more and more interested by the minute, his eyes closely trained on Eren’s features. “Or?” he repeats. “What other options are there?”  
  
“That depends entirely on you,” he answers, making no move to reach out to Levi, but something in his face seems softer now.  
  
“Can I,” Levi starts off, clearing his throat as he fights to get the words out, “can I do that thing again?”  
  
“That’s up to you,” Eren repeats, waiting as he watches Levi with darkened eyes. He doesn’t move away when Levi leans closer, not even when they’re only a couple of inches apart. Then, when Levi presses their lips together again, he takes his hand gently, so sweet and innocent that it sends flutters down along Levi’s spine. This time he’s more pliant under Levi’s touch, opening his mouth a little to allow Levi’s tongue to lightly sweep over his. Even so, it’s still a rather innocent kiss, at least until Levi moves to climb into his lap.  
  
Strangely enough, Eren doesn’t resist this new development. Instead his hands come to rest at Levi’s hips as he tilts his head back for better access, and very slowly Levi’s starting to realize that maybe he won’t be thrown out after all.  
  
“Since when?” he demands, the words a fervent whisper against Eren’s lips.  
  
“Around your last year of high school.” The response comes instantly without an ounce of hesitation. “I cared for you before, too, but not quite in this way.”  
  
“And when you say ‘cared for’..” It’s Levi’s turn to trail off mid-sentence now, his nails digging into the fabric of Eren’s sweater.  
  
“I loved you,” Eren clarifies, his eyes full of such pure adoration and honesty that it’s making Levi’s heart ache. “And I still love you. In every sense of the word.”  
  
Levi laughs before slotting their lips together again, uncontrollable joy bubbling up inside of him. Eren loves him, actually loves him, in all possible ways. He’s not sure if he fully believes that yet, so he decides that it’s best to hold on to Eren tighter, just in case this is only a dream and it might all disappear at any moment.  
  
His hands trail down from Eren’s shoulders, brushing over his stomach and coming to rest by his belt, and that’s when Eren breaks the kiss.  
  
“Not so fast, darling. There’s no hurry. You’re fine,” he murmurs, the endearment in his soft voice causing Levi to all but melt into his embrace.  
  
“I just really wanna touch you,” he replies, shifting around restlessly in Eren’s lap. “Fucking hell, do you have any idea how long I’ve been daydreaming about you?”  
  
“Ten years, was it?” Eren muses, looking far too smug, so Levi shuts him up with another kiss. It only lasts for a while, though, because Eren pulls away in order to go on. “You do know that you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, right? We have all the time in the world.”  
  
“Just a little bit.” His hands are slowly undoing Eren’s belt, somewhat fumbling yet determined. “Please?”  
  
“If you’re sure about it,” Eren agrees with a tiny nod, and Levi knows he’s never been so sure about anything in his life before. With his hands coming to idly pull at the waist of Levi’s jeans, Eren says, “You, too. As long as you’re okay with it, of course.”  
  
“You’re too sweet, you know that?” He’s reaching down to palm at Eren’s half-hard cock now, letting out a quiet exhale as Eren pulls his jeans down along his waist. “Always so caring and gentle.”  
  
Eren gives a low hum, pressing himself up into Levi’s hand. “Of course. Especially when it’s you.” He presses a light kiss to his forehead, his hand sneaking down under Levi’s boxers. Even as he starts stroking along Levi’s length, he’s doing it in such light and loving motions that they leave him craving for more.  
  
Apparently sensing his frustration, Eren places a comforting hand by his back. “It’s fine, love. Here,” he says, pulling his own jeans lower and pressing their cocks together firmly, his other hand coming to rest over where Levi’s fingers are still wrapped around his shaft. “We’ll do it together.”  
  
“Okay,” he states a little shakily, and as they move together, rubbing up against one another, he cannot hold back the choked moan that falls from his lips. His eyes drift down to where their cocks are pressed together, the sight of their joined hands and Eren’s fingers resting on top of his making it all the more arousing. Eren’s cock is a little thicker than his and has a slight curve to it, and Levi can’t help but to wonder how it would feel stretching him out and brushing up against his prostate.  
  
It’s only been a few moments yet Levi’s already embarrassingly close, precome smudged over both his and Eren’s underwear. He’s trying to hold back as much as he can, and apparently Eren notices that since he gives an admonishing click of his tongue.  
  
“Don’t worry, darling, it’s fine, you can come anytime you want,” he assures, trailing featherlight kisses down along Levi’s jaw.  
  
“I thought we were doing it together,” Levi gasps out, eyes falling closed as he tries to focus on anything but the blinding pleasure building up inside of him.  
  
“Oh, Levi, I’m old.” Eren gives a short laugh, sweeping his thumb over the sensitive tip of Levi’s cock and drawing out a breathy moan from him. “It doesn’t work that fast when you get to this age.”  
  
“Then I can hold it off,” he states in a stubborn voice. His head falls to rest on Eren’s shoulder, the fabric of his sweater pleasantly soft against his skin. “It’s fine.”  
  
“Really, now?” Eren drawls out, clearly amused as he rubs up against Levi harder. “What a good boy you are.”  
  
He very nearly creams himself right away, but somehow succeeds in holding back. However, it only takes a couple more strokes and whispered praises (“look at you, so pretty like this” and “my darling, you’re irresistible, so lovely and sweet”) to reduce him into a shaking, whimpering mess. All the while Eren’s gazing at him with such unashamed adoration and lust that Levi can barely even look at him.  
  
Despite all his efforts, he’s the one to finish first, going completely still as the raw pleasure in the pit of his stomach overflows and he releases all over Eren’s stomach. Eren follows soon after, calling out Levi’s name in a quiet, broken voice as he comes, and the expression on his face just then is something that Levi will remember for the rest of his life.  
  
They sit there for a long while, Levi nuzzling into the crook of Eren’s neck and lacing their fingers together. Neither one of them speak for a while, but the silence feels more comfortable than anything.  
  
“What do we do now?” Levi finally asks, lips brushing against the skin of Eren’s neck.  
  
“Shower and probably go sleep,” Eren mutters, sounding like he could fall asleep there on the couch while holding Levi.  
  
With a long sigh, Levi clarifies, “I didn’t mean that.” If they’re really going to do this, whatever ‘this’ is, they’ll have to tell Izzy sooner or later. In addition to that, there’s the whole issue of him living five towns over and Eren working a very time-consuming job. Oh, and not to mention the twenty-year age difference between them. How will it ever work?  
  
“‘S fine. You worry too much,” Eren assures him, wrapping his arms around Levi tighter. “We’ll figure it out. One day at a time.”  
  
He’s not sure if he fully believes that, at least not yet, but with Eren holding on to him like he’s the most precious thing in the world and pressing light kisses into his hair, he thinks they might at least have a chance at a happy ending.


End file.
